Across the Millennia
by Aleirian's Chosen
Summary: What a tangled web we weave when we try to hide, but only deceive... Scandalshipping, angst, frustration, etc. All that good stuff. First postin' fic, so please be nice... Rated for concepts.
1. Ancient Egypt

**_Edit 9/18/05:I changed the lyrics at the beginning, since I think this fits the fic better. I also did a bit of tweaking, but nothing really important, so you don't have to read it over again. :)_**

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. Be grateful for it. Neither do I claim rights to "Eternal Flame", by Atomic Kitten.

_Author's Note: Just a few words of explanation. Feel free to skip it. _

This fic is in three parts, with anywhere between one and ten chapters for each. The story was inspired by a random high that came over me due to insomnia...and because of the blasted writers of YGO who made it so freakin' easy to write yaoi. Not that I object to yaoi in any way -- I read that stuff quite a lot these days.

_To clarify for this chapter: Seto equals Priest Seto, Ishizu Priest equals Ishizu, etc., because I am not going to be bothered with typing out 'Priest' every time I want to mention someone. _

_And for those of you going "But Priest Seto and Atem are cousins!", well, I'm sure cousins married cousins in Ancient Egypt. That's just how ancient civilizations worked, ne?_

_For a last note, I'm going by the English version here, meaning all the names, places, dates and ages are from the English version. Therefore Set is now Priest Seto (just because Idon't particularly like thename Set...) I know they're "wrong" compared with the Japanese version, but if you're going to argue canon, then I suggest you try a YGO forum instead._

_I'm sure you're all sick of my rambling, so here's the fic...

* * *

_

**Across the Millennia  
**_Part One: Ancient Egypt_

_- - - - -_

_Close your eyes  
Give me your hand, darling  
Do you feel my heart beating?  
Do you understand?  
Do you feel the same?  
Am I only dreaming  
or is this burning, an eternal flame_?

_

* * *

_

The blazing sun glinted off the sands of the desert as a small procession made its way down a long sand dune. Heat waves rose in shimmering myriads, dazzling the eyes and disorienting the senses. Riding at the head of the column was Priest Seto, viewing the surroundings with his hawk-like gaze. Not a single detail escaped his keen eyes, and though he saw nothing out of the ordinary (that is, nothing but sand, wind, and more sand), a feeling of great unease struck his heart.

The Millennium Rod gleamed momentarily in his hand, and he knew that the feeling was more than just paranoia. Something was about to happen, something bad, and soon.

He glanced around again, and as before, he saw nothing unusual. But the feeling persisted and grew with each passing moment. Reigning in his mount, he held up his hand and called for a halt.

Seto may not have had the foresight that Priest Ishizu possessed through her Millennium Tauk, but when his Rod gave him warnings, he listened. And this warning was not altogether unexpected, as he had known that this trip would be dangerous from beginning to end. Everyone knew it, and everyone acknowledged it except for Pharaoh Atem. No matter that the high priests had all but begged him to listen to sense, Atem had insisted on visiting the desert shrine, and he had insisted on only taking a few attendants with him. Luckily for all concerned, Seto had managed to convince Atem to let him go as well, along with a few bodyguards.

It was madness. Out here in the wilderness, it was the perfect place for an ambush. And with such a small group, they could be easily overwhelmed by a group of bandits, not to mention the nameless enemies the Pharaoh had...

But the bulk of the trip was over. The shrine had been reached, the shrine had been visited, and the shrine was far behind them now. They were less than half a day's march from the royal capital, but that was still too far into the desert for Seto's peace of mind.

As the entire group came to a halt at his command, Seto looked over his shoulder and saw that the Pharaoh had commanded the slaves to set down his covered sedan-chair and was getting out. Two attendants rushed to his side, but Pharaoh Atem waved them aside.

A thrill of fear ran lanced through Seto's heart. The Pharaoh should stay where he was protected, and out in the open certainly didn't qualify. Priest Seto began to call out to him, begging him to be careful. But even as he opened his mouth, a bolt of darkness lanced down out of the blue, striking the Pharaoh where he stood.

"Pharaoh!" Seto's cry was drowned amid the hubbub of voices that broke out among the salves and bodyguards. His horse shrilled as darkness suddenly descended all around them, obliterating the blue sky, dispelling the warmth of the sun.

Seto leapt down from his panicking steed and ran toward the Pharaoh. But he halted suddenly as a swirling maelstrom of darkness appeared over their heads.

Shadow Magic!

From the corner of his eye, Seto could see the Pharaoh: he was lying on the ground, apparently unconscious from the blast. A sudden wave of anger roiled through the priest. He raised his Millennium Rod. 

"Darkness, be gone!" he thundered. He sent forth all his energy, fueled by that sudden rage, into a bolt that blasted through the heart of the darkness. All time seemed to stilled as the powers strove for supremacy. It was a struggle of good versus evil, light versus darkness. It was a struggle that lasted for only scant moments, yet seemed to stretch on for eternity.

Then suddenly, with an almighty shudder, the darkness collapsed upon itself and faded away. Seto nearly fell to his knees as his strength was sapped from him. That struggle had cost him more than he'd expected.

But now was not the time for weakness. Struggling to move his unwilling feet, he stumbled to the Pharaoh's side.

"Pharaoh Atem..."

His eyes were still closed, and ice gripped at Seto's heart as he contemplated the worst. That had been a powerful blast of Shadow Magic, and it had caught the Pharaoh with his guard down. And now, he was not moving, barely breathing, and Seto could hardly sense the presence of his strong mind.

Seto felt himself go cold.

His soul had been taken by the Shadows.

No! Seto thought wildly. _This can't be happening!_

Seto thought wildly. 

"Priest Seto?" came a hesitant voice. One of the bodyguards. No doubt the display of magic had frightened the poor fools, if the gibbering in the background proved anything.

Before the bodyguard could say another word, Seto had gently lifted the Pharaoh in his arms and carried him back to the covered traveling sedan. His eyes were intense as he gazed at the young pharaoh, as though by sheer force of will he could set everything aright.

"We leave at once," he said flatly.

The bodyguard bowed low. Very low. "Yes, my lord."

* * *

Seto managed to shush the rumors that were already spreading among the attendants soon after they reached the royal palace. People listened when finding themselves being stared down at by a High Priest. You'd listen too. Especially if the said priest was holding a Millennium Item and threatening to feed your soul to the monsters of the Shadow Realm.

Pharaoh Atem was in his royal bedchamber, and after the attendants and healers had fussed over him sufficiently, Seto dismissed all of them, including the guards. He had then called the other five priests to the Pharaoh's antechamber for an emergency meeting. No doubt Priest Ishizu had already foreseen what was going to happen, for she appeared before Seto had dispatched the slaves with the messages. Priests Akunadin, Karim, and Shada hurried in soon after at more or less the exact moment. The last to arrive was Priest Mahado, his eyes dark and his step heavy.

After a recount of what happened by Seto, there was a slightly frenzied discussion as the priests went over the stories they knew about situations similar to this; but the discussion soon proved useless, and as one, they turned to Mahado.

"We all know you're the greatest spirit sorcerer in the land," Seto said. "What can you draw from your expertise, Mahado?"

The keeper of the Millennium Ring regarded him with a grave expression. The rest of the priests fell silent.

Mahado's voice was quiet as he replied, "What I know we all already know. There is nothing more I can tell you." He paused and looked Seto in the eye. "And there is nothing I can do. It was a powerful Shadow Spell, one more powerful than any I have ever encountered."

A heavy silence descended upon the room.

Ishizu watched Seto with concern in her eyes. Mahado's words seemed to have had the same effect as a bolt of lightning striking him. He stood perfectly still, his head lowered, his eyes fixed unseeingly on the floor. The Millennium Rod hung limply in his hands. Ishizu knew that Seto must be blaming himself for not being quick enough, for allowing this to happen. But it wasn't his fault, why couldn't he see that?

Ishizu started to move toward him, wanting to comfort him, but she felt a restraining hand on her shoulder. Akunadin shook his head, seeming to say "_let him be_", and Ishizu obeyed the older man.

Suddenly, Seto looked up, his blue eyes blazing.

"No," he said firmly. "I won't give upon him. Not without a fight."

"Seto," Ishizu began.

But Mahado cut her off before she could say anymore. His voice was stern, but it carried an unmistakable note of sorrow. "Seto, don't be foolish. There is nothing you can do. There is nothing any of us can do. It's over, Pharaoh Atem is gone. You cannot bring back a soul from the Shadows; only the one that banished him can, and unfortunately for us we have no idea who that is!"

"I'm not giving up just like that!" Seto said heatedly. "I won't!"

"Seto, wake up from your delusions!" Akunadin said forcefully. "Right now, we must concentrate on safeguarding the kingdom against chaos and civil war. With the Pharaoh gone--"

"He can't be gone!" Seto cried.

"Come now," Karim said gently. "Listen to reason."

Seto looked from one face to the other, as though searching for something in the eyes of the other priests. They didn't know what he was looking for, but it seemed that whatever it was, he found it lacking in them. Seto drew himself up to his full height, his aura cold and commanding.

"Out," he said simply. "All of you. Out."

"Seto," Mahado began, a bit angrily. "Don't you realize--"

"_Out_." Set's voice never changed in pitch or volume, but the force behind it startled the other priests, as well as the fact that the Millennium Rod suddenly flared with power. "Get out. Now."

Mahado's eyes flashed, but Shada stepped in and laid a hand on his shoulder. Slowly, the priests filed out, Ishizu being the first and Mahado last.

The door shut after Mahado with an ominous _bang_. Seto's face was expressionless, his eyes inscrutable. Silently, he turned and walked slowly through heavy curtains that separated the two chambers.

Atem was on his bed, and all the drapes were pulled closed around the Pharaoh. A small brazier burned a light incense in a corner, perfuming the room with a scent of exotic flowers.

Seto stood before the drapes about Atem's bed, the translucent stuff allowing him to see the still form of the Pharaoh. Slowly, reverently, he lifted a hand to pull the drapes aside.

Suddenly, another's presence prickled at the edge of his awareness.

"Out, Mana," he ordered as cold anger seeped into his voice. "I know you're in here."

A soft sniffling was heard as a young girl climbed out of one of the large ornamental vases by the door to the bedchamber. Her brown hair was tousled, her clothing wrinkled. Mana blinked away her tears. Though Seto's back was turned to her, he could tell that she was crying.

"I'm not leaving" she said stubbornly, her voice slightly choked by her tears. "Atem's my friend."

"You dare call the Great Pharaoh by his name? You are bold, Mana, but I'm sure there are many others who are also his friend," Seto said angrily. "Get out. _Now_. Unless you want to spend eternity in the Shadow Realm."

"You wouldn't dare!" Mana shot back. "Mahado is my master; he's the greatest sorcerer in the land, and a lot more powerful than you--aah!"

The Millennium Rod gleamed, and Mana cried out as a wave of power threw her against the wall. Seto's eyes flashed dangerously.

"I don't care who your master is. Get out of my sight."

Mana swallowed a sob. Throwing a tearful glare at Seto, she turned on her heel and fled from the room. Seto heard her running through the antechamber, followed by a _bang_ as she slammed the door after her.

There was absolute silence in the bedchamber. Seto relaxed his tight grip on his Millennium Rod, willing his anger to drain away. Pulling aside the hanging drapes that shrouded the Pharaoh, he knelt down at Atem's bedside. As he gazed at the young man's motionless face, something twisted deep in Seto's heart.

Everyone had left at his command. They sensed his rage and knew that he was angry at fate and the world in general for what had happened. But what they didn't know what that Seto couldn't afford to let anyone witness him now. He knew that he was weak -- weak and vulnerable, and should anyone see through his mask then he was done for.

Custom forbade relationships between those of the same gender, and those who broke the taboo were scorned and spat upon, being regarded as evil and the lowest forms of life. And it wasn't just a simple taboo -- heavens knew that taboo would never stop someone like Priest Seto. No, it was the law of the gods themselves, and it had been taught from generation to generation.

Seto knew this very well. But all the knowledge of the laws could not help him govern his heart. When he had taken his oath as a High Priest he had sworn his udying loyalty to the Pharaoh. But long before, his heart had ordained that it wholly and resolutely belonged to Atem -- not the great and fair ruler, but the boy he had known for so many years, his cousin, his dear friend.

Seto had been horrified with himself when he first realized it. His automatic reaction was to deny it, blame it as a side effect of insomnia. But over the years, he had found that this feeling simply wouldn't go away, and that with each passing day he lost more and more control over his emotions.

He was horrified, disgusted, and detested himself. But what could he do? Had he been an ordinary person he would have ended his life for the evil that possessed him, but he was High Priest, and he well knew that his powers were invaluable to Pharaoh Atem. He couldn't deny his Pharaoh and his kingdom the skills and powers he possessed, but he couldn't deny to himself the longing his heart suffered from with each passing day.

Seto could not let him know of his unholy love, but it was hard -- Ra, it was _hard_ to constantly have to check himself when he was at the Pharaoh's side, day in and day out.

He had sworn to serve Atem loyally, had sworn to protect him with his life if need be, and with his oath of High Priesthood he had devoted his life to the Pharaoh. He was a servant, a guard, but most of all Atem said that they were his most loyal and trusted friends.

Friends. Seto cursed the gods bitterly for putting him in this position -- a friend, but nothing more than a friend, never could be more.

He served Atem loyally, promising himself that he would exceed in all and be the best he could. He would always be there, always to serve and protect his Pharaoh, never allowing him to come to harm.

That was an oath he would rather die than break. But now...

Seto felt his heart twist in pain as he gazed at the motionless figure of Atem.

I let him down, he thought bitterly. _I swore to forever serve and protect him, but I let him down. I was to slow, too weak. _I_ let this happen._

he thought bitterly. I 

He fought back the pain that threatened to overwhelm him. Gods, why did it have to hurt so much?

"Atem," he whispered, barely daring to voice his name aloud. Hesitantly, not daring to think of what he was doing, Seto reached out and brushed back a strand of Atem's blonde hair. The contact left his skin tingling, and he quickly withdrew his hand, shocked at his own daring.

But his mind was made up. It had been made up for a long time now -- he would do anything for Atem, he would serve him with his life.

I'll bring you back, Seto thought with a fierceness born of despair and desperation. _No matter what it takes. I'll bring you back. You can't be lost, you just can't. Egypt needs you, your people need you, and..._

Seto thought with a fierceness born of despair and desperation. 

He swallowed a small whimper.

...I need you.

* * *

Atem. My...name is...Atem.

The darkness closed in around him, snarling, clawing at his very being. Atem fought the Shadows as they tore at his memories, threatening to strip away every last remnant of who he was; he fought with all the power he possessed, fighting for his memories, fighting for his soul.

It was a stalemate -- the Shadows had him trapped, but his power held them at bay. For now.

Atem could feel himself weakening, and he knew that the Shadows would have him, sooner or later. There was no way out, everywhere there was only shifting darkness that drew ever closer with each passing moment.

Atem...my...name...

He was growing weak. It would be all over soon. Atem shivered, as his thoughts trembled at the eternal darkness that awaited him.

How could it end this way? They needed him: Egypt, his kingdom, his people, his friends...

A sense of loss washed over Atem, and suddenly in his mind he could see a pair of deep blue eyes gazing at him.

Seto...

Atem's heart ached at the thought of his name. He remembered his voice, his eyes, his powerful, commanding presence...and he remembered the customs that forbade everything Atem hoped for. All he wanted was to hear Seto say he loved him. All he wanted was to be happy, knowing they loved each other.

For so long, Atem had held himself in check, knowing that it would be the greatest and most terrible of scandals if anyone found out. The Pharaoh, in love with a man, and his own cousin to boot? It was defying the very will of the gods!

And most of all, Atem couldn't stand to imagine the look of horror and disgust on Seto's face if he found out. He wouldn't be able to bear the humiliation. For though the young Pharaoh often dreamed of a happy ending, what were the odds that it would ever come true? Seto was an upright man, he couldn't be susceptible to this godless emotion that Atem had fallen victim to. 

As he gazed bleakly at the darkness all around him, Atem wished with all his heart that fate wasn't so cruel. He wished that there could just be a happy resolution -- a joyous conclusion to the suffering his love caused him, a conclusion where he would wake one day to discover that Seto loved him. Then let all taboos and laws fly on the four winds. Atem had loved Seto for too long to care anymore.

I just want to hear him say my name, he thought. _I just want him to speak normally to me, like we used to when we were younger. But now, it's all titles -- "My Pharaoh", "Great Pharaoh", but never "Atem." _

I just want to hear him talk to me again. I miss him. I...I love him.

he thought. 

Atem loved him. Ra, he loved with a passion more than any should be allowed able to carry and still live.

His heart broke anew each day as he watched Seto standing at his side, his powerful aura radiating strength, his expression impassive.

If he could turn back time, Atem would find a way to beat down his own cowardice and just tell Seto the way he felt. It was against all odds that Seto would accept him and his emotions. It was nearly impossible that Seto would love him as well.

Still, there was that infinitely small chance, and all Atem wanted was to have that one chance, no matter how desperate, no matter how hopeless. He just wanted a chance to say, "_I love you._"

The Shadows pressed in around him, destroying his hope. He'd never have that chance. Maybe it was better Seto didn't know. Then, at least, Atem would be spared that final heartbreak.

But now, he felt shattered anyway to think that it was all over. Never again would Atem see him standing there at his side -- his friend, his loyal priest, his one love. Never again would he look up to see the deep blue of Seto's eyes, that profound, endless blue see that swallowed him each time their eyes met. Never again would he hear Seto's voice. Never again would be able to dream of the impossible in the quiet hours of the night.

He was the pharaoh, the living representation of the gods. He was great, he was powerful, but he was denied the one thing he truly wished for.

A single shimmering tear trickled down his cheek, disappearing into the darkness.

"Seto..."

"Pharaoh!"

Atem's eyes widened as he looked around frantically. Was he mind finally collapsing under the Shadows, or had he just heard Seto's voice calling out to him?

"My Pharaoh, come back!"

It _was _Seto's voice, the same voice that he had never hoped to hear again. It was beyond all hope, beyond all possibility. Suddenly, a shimmering light appeared before him, faint but steady, a shining blue tinged with gold.

"Come back, Great Pharaoh! You must come back!"

Atem gathered what remained of his strength, fighting off the Shadows with a last desperate effort. It was Seto, his beloved Seto leading him back. The thought leant him strength, and he ran after the light, ignoring the enraged roar of the Shadows as he, their prey eluded them. Atem controlled his fear, his mind bent on following the light.

For he could feel Seto's presence there behind the light, and in this presence, Atem could sense the answer to all his dreams and prayers -- he sensed a boundless, unconditional, impossible love.

* * *

_End first half of Part One -- next chapter will conclude the Ancient Egypt storyline, and we move on to...Domino! Reviews are greatly appreciated! Thankye!_


	2. Anciet Egypt cont'd

_Author's Note: Oh, wow, I got reviews! You guys are the best, thank you so much! _

Just as a note, I'm probably going to update every two or three days...maybe longer if schoolwork swamps me. But the fic is already written and saved on my computer, so there's no need to worry about me having writer's block:)

And as promised, here's the second half of Part One. Enjoy!

_

* * *

_

**Across the Millennia  
**_Part One: Ancient Egypt _

Cont'd

* * *

The Shadows had caught him...they would destroy him...and he had no strength left to fight them off. 

"No... I have...Atem!"

With a great effort, Seto held off the Shadows and wrenched his mind back from the darkness. Fighting back a gasp as he felt all his strength draining away, he collapsed on the ground beside Atem's bed. His entire body trembled as his vision swam and his mind reeled from shock.

A few deep breaths dispelled the dizziness, and a few moments to collect himself allowed Seto to struggle to his feet, leaning on the wall for support. When his eyes stopped letting him see double, he turned his gaze to Atem who still lay motionless on his bed.

For a moment Seto's heart quailed. He had failed; Atem hadn't come back.

But then, suddenly, Atem opened his eyes. Seto felt as though a bolt of lightning had lanced through his body. He stumbled forward and knelt at Atem's bedside as his legs threatened to give out from underneath him.

"My Pharaoh?" he whispered, scarcely daring to believe this was happening. "Can you hear me?"

Atem blinked, and slowly turned his head so he could look into Seto's eyes. He smiled. "You saved me, Seto."

Suddenly, it dawned on Seto that he had just done the impossible: he had stolen Atem back from clutches of the Shadows.

"Gods be blessed, Pharaoh, you had us all worried sick," he said, his voice hoarse. "I--"

But he never got to finish his sentence, for at that moment he heard the door to the antechamber burst open. There came the sound of hurrying feet and moments later the high priests were all assembled before the Pharaoh in his bedchamber. In the time it took for them to cross through the antechamber, Seto had quickly stood up and went to stand by the entrance, ignoring the waves of dizziness that washed over him. He moved just in time to slip behind Shada, who had been the last to enter.

"My Pharaoh!" Mahado stepped forward, awe written clearly all over his face. "You are safe, just as Ishizu foresaw!"

"A vision came to me through the Millennium Tauk," Ishizu explained, watching the Pharaoh closely as though she was afraid that he would disappear if she blinked. "I saw you safe, and I could not believe it. I summoned everyone at once."

"Great Pharaoh," Akunadin knelt down at the bedside, "how are you feeling?"

Atem looked from one face to the next, and in each of their eyes he read clearly their surprise and joy. But as his eyes searched for Seto, the priest in question only held his gaze for a moment before quickly looking away at the floor. For what Seto saw in Atem's eyes shocked and frightened him -- there was a strange light in those red-violet orbs, a light that Seto's heart longed for, but which his mind didn't want to think about.

Taking a deep breath, Atem slowly raised himself to a sitting position, cutting off a protest from Karim. Despite his condition, despite that he had nearly lost his soul in the Shadow Realm, Pharaoh Atem still radiated a calm authority as he regarded the six priests before him.

"I am well now," he said, his voice soft but steady. "I am sorry to have worried you all. I assure you that you need no longer to worry, for as you can see I am quite safe and all in one piece."

Ishizu sighed in relief, Shada nodded, and Mahado smiled.

"But tell me, Pharaoh," Akunadin said, standing up. "How is this possible? It is as a miracle from the gods themselves!"

"I'm afraid can't give you any answers on that, Akunadin," Atem replied. "But I agree with you: it is as a miracle from the gods." And as he spoke, his gaze traveled to rest on Seto, who was still resolutely looking at the floor.

"Well, in that case, I suggest you rest for a while, Pharaoh," said Ishizu. "In fact, with all the stress today, we should all rest."

There was a general murmur of agreement at the idea, and after bidding the Pharaoh to rest well, the six high priests filed out. Seto was the last to leave, but he still kept his gaze fixed on the floor and walls.

Seto could feel Atem's eyes resting on him, and he had to exert every ounce of his self-control to keep himself looking anywhere but at the Pharaoh. Because once he looked up and met that red-violet gaze, Seto wasn't sure what he would do. Fainting and breaking down were high contenders on the list of possibilities, but Seto wasn't about to test his theories.

Following close behind Shada, Seto turned and left the chamber, shivering slightly as he felt Atem's gaze following him all the way out into the corridor.

* * *

There was absolute silence in the palace gardens when Seto stepped outside under the starry night. The evening had passed rather uneventfully compared with the rest of the day. Akunadin, under Atem's orders, had kept the level of gossip down, and also handled whatever business that needed handling. Seto had spent the time meditating -- or rather, trying to meditate and not think about Atem. He had failed miserably. 

He had tried to get some rest, as Karim had recommended, but he was perpetually kept awake by his restless thoughts. In the silence, he constantly heard Atem's voice, speaking to him, "_You saved me, Seto."_ Each time Seto tried to meditate, his thoughts would invariably betray him and wander back to Atem; each time he closed his eyes and tried to sleep, he saw Atem's bright eyes gazing at him.

Half the night was gone already, but he had not slept a wink. Tired and frustrated, he strode outside, hoping that a brief walk in the gardens would help his agitation.

The nighttime brought stillness and peace, and as a breeze meandered around the palace it brought a certain chill to the gardens. The cool air was welcome to Seto; it numbed him and soothed his exhausted mind and heart. His thoughts had worn out his mind, and his rampaging emotions had taken their toll on his heart and spirit. All he wanted now was to be able to rest, to be freed of this confusion that plagued him, and most of all, to not think for once.

Though weary and spent, his heart still pained when he thought of Atem, of his voice, and of that look in his eyes. Seto wasn't a fool; he recognized that look and knew what it meant. It was the same look that he'd hoped for, all these years, his heart longed for that gaze and for the chance that it would bring.

It seemed impossible, it should have been impossible, but Atem had been much too obvious for it just to have been coincidence and Seto's imagination. By Ra, it was a wonder none of the other high priests had noticed it yesterday.

Seto wandered aimlessly through the gardens, taking the same way he always did. It was a lonely, meandering path, chosen for its seldom use. Seto wanted to be alone, he didn't want to see anyone right now -- though in the dead of night there were flowers and shrubs to keep him company. All the better for Seto. He wanted solitude, he wanted time to wrestle some obedience from his heart and his emotions.

Two days ago, he'd thought that he had everything under control. But then yesterday and all its turmoil had broken loose the chains Seto had bound about his own emotions. Coupled with what he had seen in Atem's eyes, his heart was fairly clawing at the cage he kept it restrained in, commanding him to do something, demanding that he take this chance that he had been given.

A chance. That was all he had wanted before -- just a chance that Atem loved him. That small, infinitely slim chance that somehow they could be together, despite all the objections and taboos of the world. That chance, the impossible chance that was now handed to him -- and which he was hesitant to take.

For what good would it do them? If he admitted to his feelings, it would just bring more pain. No matter that Atem loved him, the gods themselves forbid it. And even though Atem was the great, all-powerful pharaoh, fate and the gods would never let it happen.

Seto shook his head, clenching his hands into fists as he mentally shook himself. If he had cursed the gods before, now he damned them. Why did they enjoy toying with his life so much? What amusement did they find in his pain?

He couldn't stand to think about it anymore, he couldn't stand this heartbreak any longer. If he tried to live with this, he would go insane.

So make a decision now, you fool, he snarled at himself.

Seto knew that the quickest decision, the one that would throw life back to more or less the way it used to be was the one he should make. It wouldn't solve much, but it would keep things from getting out of control. It would hurt -- gods, he knew it break his heart once and for all -- but it was the decision he knew he was doomed to make.

He would pretend nothing had happened. Gods, Atem was sure to throw a fit; it would hurt both of them, but Seto was already decided. He wanted to just give in to this chance, but the consequences it would bring were too heavy. Atem wouldn't care, he knew that, because Atem was reckless when there was something he wanted bad enough, but Seto wouldn't let him make that mistake.

It's nothing but a mistake, he thought firmly. _A mistake. A chance. A trick of fate..._

he thought firmly. 

"Seto."

He stopped dead in his tracks. _Oh, gods, not right now!_

He recognized the voice. Of course he did, how could he not? It was the same voice that had kept him awake tonight, the same voice that often haunted his dreams.

Seto was naturally fair, and in the moonlight his skin was even more washed out; but now, he paled so much it appeared that he was a ghost.

Turning slowly, Seto kept his eyes on the ground and bowed low. "My Pharaoh."

"Seto, please look at me," Atem said softly. "I need to talk to you."

Seto stiffened. His heart pounded wildly, but he fought to keep a level head. He knew what Atem wanted to talk about; gods, seeking him out at this time of night, what else _could_ he want to talk about? The weather?

"There may be others about, Pharaoh," he said, hoping Atem would take the hint.

He did. But his reply wasn't the one Seto was looking for. "There's no one awake at this time, Seto. Just the guards and they are around the perimeter of the gardens, while we're somewhere in the middle. There's no one to eavesdrop, not even Mana since she is fast asleep."

Damn. He's right.

Though it was night, the moon and stars were just bright enough to illuminate the both of them. Seto kept his eyes lowered as he answered with as steady a voice as he could manage, "What is it you wish to speak with me about?"

"You know what I want to talk about."

And he sees right through me. Double damn.

"Seto, please, look at me."

Atem was all but pleading with him, and Seto felt his resolve weakening despite urgent commands issuing from his brain.

No!

Suddenly, Seto dropped down to his knees. Atem was shocked; Seto never knelt to anyone unless it was absolutely required, and this situation certainly didn't qualify.

"Seto, what are you doing?" he asked, still recovering from his surprise.

"My Pharaoh, I must beg a favor from you."

"Beg?" Atem echoed. "Ask, and it will be given. You are my priest, my cousin, my greatest of friends. What would I not grant you?"

"I know you are a man of your word, Pharaoh," Seto replied, still looking at the ground. "So I must ask you this: let it go. What cannot be will never be. It is futile to war against the gods and fate."

For the second time in scant moments, shock washed over Atem.

"Seto, what are you saying?"

"Please, my Pharaoh, don't push it any further."

Atem bit his tongue and took a deep breath. Did Seto think he was doing the right thing by pushing the issue away and pretending nothing was wrong?

"Seto, I command you to stand up and look at me," he said, a spark of anger rising from the shock and pain in his heart. "As your _Pharaoh_, with the power of the _gods_, I command you to obey me."

Slowly, Seto got up from his kneeling position. But his eyes were still lowered.

"Seto, look at me," Atem repeated. But when his command got no reaction from the other, "Damn you, Seto, _look at me!_"

Seto closed his eyes, biting his tongue as he fought for control over himself. "Pharaoh, please--"

"Don't 'pharaoh' me!" Atem snapped, the hurt showing in his voice. "I didn't come out here in the middle of the night to fight with your stubbornness! You know what I want to talk about, but do you know how _long_ I've hoped and prayed for this chance? All these years, Seto, all these years, my only wish was that I could tell you how I feel and that you wouldn't reject me for it. For as long as I've known you, I've had to restrain myself because I couldn't stand to think of how you'd react if you knew. I've fought through pain, through despair, through depression -- damn it, even through the Shadow Realm, and I've finally found my chance. And now..." Atem swallowed as his throat constricted. "...now you're here, telling me to _forget _about it?"

Seto clenched his hands tightly as he felt himself trembling. "Please," he managed to say softly. "Listen to me..."

"No, _you _listen _me_, Seto," Atem replied, trying to hold back his pain. "I don't know how long you've been hiding; but if it's been as long as I have, and if you've suffered as much, then damn it, why can't you _understand_? These past years, every night I would see your eyes when I closed mine. Everyday you've been at my side, but I couldn't approach you because of all the taboos and laws that forbid it. All I wanted was to tell you how I felt, but I never had the chance."

There was no reply or comment from Seto, so Atem went on. "Then when I was lost in the Shadow Realm, I thought it was all over. But you called me back, Seto, your love called me back."

"It was luck and my loyalty that called you back," Seto said stubbornly. "Please, stop this. Just drop it."

"I don't care what you reasons you want to give for it! Maybe it was loyalty, maybe it was luck, and maybe it was just fate toying with me again. But all I care about is that I have my chance, Seto, _we _have this chance. Why do you have to be so stubborn? I know you love me, and all I want is to hear you say it!"

A torrent of emotions suddenly whipped through Seto's heart, but he somehow managed to keep himself from collapsing as his legs grew weak. His hands were clenched so tightly that his nails dug into his palm.

I will not lose control.

"Why do you never call me by my name anymore?" Atem whispered. "I can't remember the last time I heard you say my name. Seto, why do you insist on keeping yourself so distant from me?"

Seto clenched his hands harder.

I will not...lose control...

"Look at me. _Please_."

It was the 'please' that finally got to him. Slowly, so slowly it was almost painful, Seto raised his eyes and looked at Atem. Somehow, he managed to not collapse on the ground right there and then. The moonlight softened everything it touched, washing the earth with a shimmering, iridescent glow. Where in the day all was mundane, the moon turned the world to a place of magic and myth.

The effect it had on Atem as Seto gazed at him was nearly impossible to describe. Half hidden in shadow, half shimmering in the pale moonlight, Seto could have sworn he that gazed upon the face of the most divine being in the world, barring none, not even the gods. Atem's eyes were impossibly bright, and all the stars seemed to dim in comparison.

_Oh, dear gods, help me... He's _beautiful.

But more than anything, Seto could read the look in Atem's eyes as clearly as the words in a book. He was anxious, he was frightened; but Atem's gaze held him mesmerized and he couldn't look away.

"All this time," Atem said softly. "All these years, all these painful days, all these lonely nights. All I wanted was to be able to tell you..."

Seto swallowed, his heart racing, his mind reeling.

"I love you, Seto."

Gods above. Seto's heart felt as though it would give out on him right there and then. He felt weak, all his strength was suddenly gone, and his mind was blank with shock. He didn't register the fact that Atem had stepped closer to him until he felt a touch on his arm.

The contact sent an electric shock through his entire body, effectively bringing him back from the state of numbness. Swallowing a gasp, he quickly took a step back and away from Atem.

"Don't do this to me," he choked out. "You know what the consequences will be. Nothing good can be achieved by this."

"_Happiness_ can be achieved," Atem said forcefully. "What is _wrong_ with you, Seto?"

"The consequences are too great," Seto said, using his stubbornness to suppress and mask his emotions. "There is no way I'll be able to hide it from my father. He will never accept this. You will lose everything. Akunadin will have the other priests to back him up, along with all of Egypt. Trust me, please, nothing good can come out of this."

"So you will put status and power over everything?" Atem asked, incredulous and hurt. "Including love?"

"No!" came the reply, as hurt radiated from Seto's eyes. "I put your well-being over everything, over any emotion, over myself. Try to understand!"

Silence descended upon them as they simply stared at each other for several long moments.

"My well-being," Atem echoed. "And what good will you have done by breaking my heart, Seto?"

"Heartbreak is inevitable, whatever path we choose." Seto managed to school his face into a mask of calmness. "I won't let you throw away everything."

"So you choose to let me die instead," Atem said quietly.

"No, I--!"

Atem stared into his eyes, and Seto suddenly found himself speechless as he was held by that gaze. There was sorrow in his eyes, and there was pain, but most of all there was an intensity that simply could not be described.

"I just want to hear you say my name," Atem whispered. "Please, Seto."

He swallowed, slowly, painfully.

I...will not...lose...control.

I...

"Please." Atem's voice was quiet, so quiet, and so sorrowful.

He closed his eyes.

"Atem..."

All time halted, and all he could hear was the rapid beating of his own heart. When Seto opened his eyes again, Atem was there before him, standing so close...much too close...

His eyes were feverishly bright, and despite stern commands issuing from the still rational part of his brain, Seto felt himself slowly leaning toward the other.

Oh. My. Gods.

Stop. Now.

But his body would not respond, and a dizziness began to creep over his entire mind. He couldn't think, he could only react.

They were too close. It was all going wrong, this wasn't supposed to happen...

Too close...

Atem closed his eyes.

Closer...

He could feel Atem's breath on his lips...

Suddenly, the Millennium Rod flared. That was the wake-up call Seto's rationality needed. He jerked back with a gasp, stumbling as his knees simply refused to hold him up any longer.

"Seto!"

But as Atem reached out to steady him, Seto pushed him away. Falling to his knees, this time from weakness, the priest covered his face with a hand, closing his eyes as he tried to figure out what had just happened.

"Are you alright?"

"My Pharaoh." Seto's voice was soft and hoarse, but he somehow managed to gather enough strength to keep standing. "The gods forbid it. Please, just let me go."

There was a moment of absolute silence as Atem simply stared at him.

Slowly, he spoke. His voice was steady, and void of any emotion. "This is your choice, then, Seto?"

Seto closed his eyes as he felt tears stabbing at his vision. "Please, Pharaoh..."

Atem took a deep breath, and let it go slowly.

"So be it," he said heavily. "If this is your choice, then you have called doom upon the both of us. I grant you your wish; I will hold my peace and never speak of this again. But mark my words, Seto: for your choice, your soul will not rest until you have learned to listen and obey your heart."

Seto was stunned by the power he sensed behind Atem's words. "You curse me?" he said softly, incredulously.

"No," Atem replied steadily, gazing into Seto's dark-blue eyes. "I give you another chance, Seto. Fate and the gods have may have cursed us for this lifetime; but in another era, in another life, perhaps there awaits the happiness that we both are denied now."

Without another word, Atem turned and walked away, leaving behind a heavy silence.

Seto's eyes followed Atem until he disappeared from his sight. He simply stood there, his face and eyes devoid of expression. But within, all hell suddenly seemed to break loose as he realized that it was over. It really, truly, was over. The choice was made, the final blow was struck. There was no turning back from this path Seto had chosen.

They had been so close...

Too close.

He shook himself mentally.

This was what he wanted, wasn't it? This was the choice he was fated to make.

Fate is a heartless bitch, Seto thought bitterly.

Fighting back the tears that threatened to overflow, he looked up at the heavens, as though searching for the entity that he cursed. But he only saw the stars as they shone softly in the dark vaults of the night sky. The bright jewels of the heavens gazed down at him solemnly, and it seemed to Seto that the stars held the knowledge of the past and future, being witness to the times already passed and still to come.

Tonight, they were his witnesses. In the darkness of the gardens, the stars saw Seto deny his love, and they watched silently as he swallowed his bitter tears, once again cursing the name of fate.

The stars watched silently, and kept their secrets.

* * *

_((dodges a thrown brick)) Okay, if you want to murder me -- for whatever reason: horrible plot, dissatisfactory ending, or just plain bad writing -- now's the time to tell me so in a review. But remember that if you do kill me, I won't be able to post the rest of this fic. And there is a happy ending! I promise!_

_...Hey, that doesn't mean you can murder me when I finish the story, so don't go getting any ideas._

_As always, reviews are greatly appreciated! _

_Next chapter's destination: Domino!_


	3. Domino

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, nor do I own "I Will Remember You", which is by Sarah McLachlan.

_Author's Note: Ew, school has been so evil... ((sobs)) I wasn't able to update for so long! Sorry! But here's part two of this three-part fic. Takes place in Domino, sometime after BattleCity...I think. Anyway, it's short (one part only), as I wasn't too inspired. Next part/chapter is longer. Really, it is! _

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, you guys are so awesome!

Anyway, here's the (delayed) chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

**Across the Millenia**  
_Part Two: Domino_

**Forgotten Memories**

_- - - - -_

_I will remember you.  
Will you remember me?  
Don't let your life pass you by;  
Weep not for the memories. _

_

* * *

_

"Wow, this is a really cool card!" Yugi Moto looked up at the semi-transparent form of the 5,000-year-old spirit that he knew as Yami. "This would really help in a tight spot, don't you think, Yami?"

Yami looked over Yugi's shoulder to examine the new card he had just received from his grandpa.

"It is indeed a powerful card, Yugi," he replied. "It will greatly strengthen your deck."

"Yeah, that's what I thought too!" said Yugi. "And look at these other ones; Grandpa gets the coolest cards!"

Yami chuckled at the younger boy's enthusiasm. "Yes, indeed. Your grandfather is a great collector of Duel Monster Cards."

"I can't wait to try it in a duel," Yugi said happily. "Maybe I could call Joey up, and we could duel just for old times' sake. All this 'saving-the-world-from-utter-destruction' has really gotten to me lately."

Laughing at the last comment, Yami shook his head. "Well, a duel with a friend is always fun. But I recommend you wait until morning before calling Joey, as it's nearly midnight. Speaking of which, shouldn't you be getting to bed?"

Yugi yawned and grinned sheepishly. "I guess I was so excited about these cards I forgot what time it was. Well, g'night. You get some rest too, Yami," he added as he flipped off the lightswitch.

"I'll try. Good night, Yugi."

Yugi yawned and mumbled something in reply as he climbed into bed. A few minutes later, he was fast asleep.

Yami stood by the desk, gazing down at the Duel Monster Cards that lay there, illuminated now by the shimmering moonlight cascading from the skylight window. Ever since Yugi had put together the Millennium Puzzle and found him, Yami had always felt just a little lost. He couldn't remember anything about his past, he couldn't even remember his real name. That sense of loss was often painful, and the only time it was alleviated in any way was when he dueled.

Yami sat down on the chair, staring unseeingly up at the skylight. The stars twinkled frostily, as the moon danced with the wispy clouds. But Yami could only see in his mind's eye as he slowly fell through his own thoughts.

Five thousand years had passed, five thousand years of anticipation, five thousand years of waiting, five thousand years of memories...lost. All of it, lost to him.

He was the King of Games, the greatest duelist in the world, the Great Pharaoh of legends. But Yami didn't know who he was. He didn't know what his life was like, he didn't know about his family, his friends, his loved ones... He didn't know himself, didn't know about what he had been like while he was alive.

He didn't even known his own name.

_"What's in a name? A rose by which we call any other name would still smell as sweet..."_

Yami suddenly remembered the line that Téa had quoted a few days ago, to which Tristan had stared blankly and Joey had asked if that was from some TV show.

He smiled to remember, and blinked slowly as he gazed down at his hands.

Maybe Téa was right, his name wasn't all-important. And as for who he was...he was Yami, now. He had Yugi, and Téa, Joey, Tristan...Kaiba. _They_ were his identity now -- his friends, the most important people in his life.

"Though as for precedence..."

Glancing over at Yugi's sleeping form, Yami's quiet thoughts stirred slightly, troubled and confused.

Yugi. His best friend, his host, his partner. They were linked mentally, spiritually, and also by the deep bonds of friendship. They were open with each other, their thoughts were shared sometimes, their likes and dislikes were very much the same. However, sometimes Yami wondered just _how_ deeply he and Yugi were connected, and just how much they influenced each other.

For instance...could Yugi sense the emotions in his heart?

It was almost ironic, that after five thousand years of this living-death, Yami was still all too human at times. He still suffered from the faults of mortality, was still susceptible to weakness and emotion.

And while the heart may have strength, it is also everyone's greatest weakness.

Yami glanced at the box resting on Yugi's table, the one that contained the Egyptian Gods. He could almost see through the frail sides, see the luminescence of the gods' power within.

Ra. Slifer. Obelisk. Their power was incredible, to experience their might was incomparable...

...only, Yami knew that was a lie. For he had felt a different sort of strength, a greater pulling, a much more irresistible power.

Even now, in the darkness of the room, where the silence was only broken by Yugi's soft breathing, Yami could see _his_ eyes. He could see the pallor of his face, the trembling of his hands. And he could taste the victory, but also the crushing defeat that threatened to overwhelm his heart.

Seto Kaiba. The ex-world champion, Yugi's greatest rival...and somehow, the source of greatest confusion for Yami.

If he had to rank everyone he knew in order of how important they were to him, somehow, Seto Kaiba would be on top of that list. Yami couldn't explain it, and most of the time he just didn't think about it. But in the quiet hours of the night, when there were only shadows to haunt him and keep him company, his thoughts always turned to _him_.

Just what was it about Kaiba that made him haunt his thoughts? He couldn't tell, he wasn't sure if he wanted to think about it consciously. It was disturbing, to be sure. This...attraction. Was it him? Was it Yugi _influencing_ him?

No, that couldn't be it. Yugi was definitely straight. Yami had sensed it in the way he was so unconsciously protective and supportive of Téa, sensed it in the way he only felt friendship for the other guys.

But then...

Yami propped his elbow on the table, resting his head in his hand. His eyes were a deep violet in the darkness, and as he gazed upward at the stars, the frosty-white lights were reflected in his dark eyes.

Five thousand years. Everything had changed...but perhaps some things were eternal, some things were just meant to be.

The stars were still there, they still watched silently over humankind.

And, though he didn't consciously know it, after five thousand years, Yami's heart remained true to his one love.

Some things are just meant to be. Eternity chosen, never to be shaken...

* * *

The computer screen glowed as figures and statistics flickered across the document. Seto Kaiba was watching the latest report with only half an eye. It had been a long day, but the troubles just didn't end for him. Each time he finished one task, two more appeared, and each one seemed to require immediate, executive attention. 

In other words, everything got landed on his plate. Seto Kaiba, CEO.

At the moment, all Kaiba wanted to do was shut off the damned laptop and take an aspirin or two (or three) for his headache. But neither of his wishes seemed capable of fulfillment, as the siuation really _did_ require his attention, and the bottle of aspirin in the bottom drawer of his desk was empty. A quick glance at the clock told him that it was already midnight; he'd been in the office for over fifteen hours, now.

Bestowing the laptop with a trademark Glare of Hate, Kaiba returned his attention to the rest of the report.

Suddenly, a high-pitched trill shattered the silence and made him jump. Fumbling in his pocket as his headache doubled, Kaiba's jaw clenched in frustration, and his eyes narrowed. Mokuba must have been playing with the ringtone on his cell phone, again.

He flipped open the phone. "Seto Kaiba," he said monotonously.

"Seto? Are you still at the office?"

"Mokuba?" He was surprised. "Why are you still up?"

"I was waiting for you," came the reply. Mokuba sounded tired, and more than a bit cranky. "You promised to come home for dinner, _remember?_"

Oh. Crap.

"Look, Mokuba, I'm sorry," he replied tiredly. "But a lot of things came up. Get some sleep, kiddo. I promise to be home soon."

"Where have I heard _that_ before?" Mokuba muttered sarcastically. "Well, see you then. And you'd better be home by the time I wake up."

The elder Kaiba smiled despite himself. "Alright. Good night, Mokuba."

"Bye."

Placing the phone back into his jacket pocket, Kaiba sighed as he returned to the hateful computer screen. As he began to type, he gave the report a glare. _This had better work_, he thought venomously. _If _another_ problem comes up, someone is going to die..._

...Someone. Who?

_Who knows? And who cares? _he thought cynically. But his mind answered back anyway, though it felt like someone else was speaking.

_Mokuba would care. And you used to care, once upon a time, when your heart wasn't dead..._

_Damn it, I don't need a lecture! This...it's like...like something stupid, deluded _Moto_ would say!_

But was that so bad...? Yugi Moto always managed to annoy the heck out of him, but the guy wasn't all that bad...sometimes. Namely when he was dueling. It was odd, and maybe Kaiba was just hallucinating, but when that punk dueled, he _grew_ at least two inches. And his voice dropped about three octaves.

It was creepy, the way his voice grew deeper, more powerful...seductive.

Kaiba froze.

_Oh. My. Freaking. Gods. I did NOT just think that!_

If his pride would have allowed it, he would have banged his head against the desk right there and then. But as it was, Kaiba quickly composed himself -- at least on the outside -- and turned back to typing furiously.

But the thought seemed to have caught.

Kaiba's jaw clenched.

_Damn it, I will NOT think about Moto. For crying out loud, the guy's two inches shorter of a foot! He's got that weird hair, and the stupid friends, and the most annoying, aggravating way of goody-two-shoe-ness that can drive ANYONE up a wall._

...But, Moto wasn't like that when he dueled.

Okay, so he was _still_ a goody-two-shoes, but he seemed _different._ Darker, somehow. It was like he became someone else. Someone that Kaiba could respect, and possibly -- just _possibly­_ -- consider as something other than his inferior.

Maybe.

Or maybe he already did...?

He mentally slapped himself. This train of thought was going nowhere...except back to where it started, and Kaiba was bent on avoiding going there. Ever. He'd rather wear pink for an entire week than admit he'd thought of Moto as...as...

Kaiba shut his eyes tightly, wanting to seriously hurt himself.

_Fuck._

...Wrong thing to think. His instinctively sarcastic genius suddenly decided to kick in, and Kaiba stopped typing as his hands clenched into fists.

_No. You will not think about that...fuck...No, not again! No, no, nononono... Screw you, Moto!_

Unfortunately for Seto Kaiba, the last thought gave way to an exceptionally disturbing thought.

_What is _wrong_ with me?_ he thought, wanting to scream in frustration.

Now, not only did he have a pile of work to finish before daybreak (and the impending doom that meant, if Mokuba found he'd stayed in the office until dawn), he also had to deal with...with..._his sexual orientation?_

Oh, how much better the world would be if only Yugi Moto had never come into his life!

...Then again, did he really think that?

At this point, Kaiba was just too tired to continue mentally mutilating himself for thinking these thoughts. He needed a distraction. He kept seeing a certain pair of violet eyes, kept thinking...thinking...

_You don't want to think about Moto,_ he told himself sternly. _You want to shut down this damned laptop, and the way to do that is to give your attention to the report, however stupid and aggravating it might be. Report. Concentrate. That's better..._

Two hours later, Kaiba finally walked out of the office. Everything was settled, finally. He was annoyed, he was tired, and he was very sure that he now resembled a living ghost. That was an oxymoron, but in his current state he couldn't be bothered to care. He didn't _want_ to care, he didn't want to think.

Because he was afraid his thoughts might return to a certain unsavory topic...involving a certain person.

Damn. He really needed that aspirin.

At least the limo was ready and waiting for him by the time he reached the bottom floor. Kaiba wondered vaguely, as he got into the car, whether Roland was as tired as he was.

_Hopefully, he's more awake than me, since he's driving..._

The town was asleep at this hour, and as the limo passed street after silent street, Kaiba had to fight off the urge to fall asleep right there in the car. Not that it would matter really, as it was unlikely Roland was kidnap him (right?), but Kaiba had a reputation to keep up, and falling asleep in the car was a show of unacceptable weakness.

Doubly so since it was a freakish _report_ that had caused him this much stress. And also... Though he'd never admit it, Kaiba was more than a little afraid of what his dreams would reveal. He didn't dream too often, under these conditions Kaiba really didn't want to test how good his control over his thoughts were while half-unconscious in sleep.

Suppressing a yawn, Kaiba blinked to clear his hazy vision and stared out the window. Resisting the urge to rest (or whack) his head against the cool windowpane, he tried to concentrate on the passing scenery. There wasn't much to see, just row after row of buildings and houses, swathed in darkness...

Darkness...silence...sleep...Moto...

Kaiba mentally slapped himself. _Stay awake, you idiot!_

"Roland, turn on the news," he ordered.

"Yes, sir." Roland's tone was just as monotonous as his own, and while Kaiba usually would have taken this as a sign of undermining his authority, at the moment, he could care less.

As the buzz of static was quickly replaced by a man's voice wearily drawling on about recent events, Kaiba pinched the bridge of his nose. His headache wasn't getting any better, and the stupid news reporter was actually _helping_ his sleepiness.

Damn.

Staring out the window again, Kaiba fell back on a desperate course of action. Count random objects as they passed by the car window.

Good lord, that sounded stupid, even in his mind.

But for the lack of any better idea, he sighed inwardly and began to mentally tally up the number of windows on the buildings. It should have been impossible, it _would_ have been impossible for most people, except for two things: Kaiba was _Kaiba_, genius, stubborn, the one-and-only, and also, he was only counting the windows on the first floors of buildings.

_27...28, 29, 31...32...33,34,35,36,37, holy crap, this building has a lot of windows...38, 39..._

..._47._

_Wait a minute, 47 doesn't come after 39._

Luckily, they'd already reached the mansion by then, and Kaiba was spared the further confusion and humiliation for his lack of counting abilities due to lack of sleep. As he got out of the car, he only hoped that a sound, four hours of sleep would make him forget everything that had transpired tonight. Along with all the disturbing thoughts.

Hopefully, the said thoughts were just side-effects of fatigue, and not anything more serious.

In a half-daze, Kaiba managed to get to his room, deposit his briefcase on his desk, hang up his jacket, and close the door. Later, he was somewhat amazed by the fact that he'd managed to do all that in the dark without tripping or knocking over anything.

As he fell into his bed, he glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It was already three in the morning. He had to get up at six tomorrow, for an early meeting.

_The world hates me,_ Kaiba thought, turning over with a muffled groan.

He blinked, staring into the darkness without really seeing anything. Hate. There were a lot of things and people that he hated, and he knew there were a lot of people that hated him. But sometimes, he wondered just _who_ really hated him...

For instance, did Mokuba hate him?

He didn't know why he was thinking of that, it was irrational, it was way too late at night for clear thinking... But he kept thinking of the way Mokuba avoided his eyes sometimes, like back on KaibaCorp Island. That moment when he'd ordered Mokuba to detonate the island, and he'd just turned away.

Of course, later, everything had gone back to normal, and the past was the past...

Except now, he couldn't get Moto out of his head.

Instinctively, Kaiba buried his head into his pillow, trying to shut out his own thoughts. But they wouldn't leave him alone. He couldn't stop thinking about it. Part of it was probably because of his analytical skills and stubbornness -- he wouldn't give up until he knew the answer, wouldn't give up until he had it all clear.

And right now, everything was gray.

Or gay, as he was most likely...

_Damn, stop thinking about that!_ But his mind refused to cooperate.

Who was Yugi Moto to him, anyway? A funky-haired kid, barely half his height, and a second-rate duelist who'd somehow managed to beat him. Repeatedly.

It was humiliating. He should have just ignored it after the first time. He should have known better after the second time. But he just couldn't shake that..._obsession_. He had to beat Yugi, he had to. It was like his life depended on it. He couldn't rest until he did.

And somehow, somewhere along the way, that obsession had apparently twisted around on itself...and produced this.

So now Seto Kaiba was lying in bed, at 3:17 in the morning, frustrated, confused, and unable to sleep.

He could _see_ those eyes looking at him, could feel the intensity in that gaze. He could feel an emotion, an instinct stirring deep inside him. In his heart, which he thought had long since died, Kaiba could feel the stirrings of longing...and pain. It was as though his heart was crying.

The cheesy, boringly poetic-ness of it all was enough to make his gag. But it felt like the truth.

It felt...nostalgic, somehow. Like a half-forgotten memory, something that was feebly awakening, but unable to fully come into the light and be recognized. That was how he felt. That was the sensation he now experienced, as his mind lingered on his rival.

_So now I'm gay?_ he thought. It should have been bitter, sarcastic at the least, but it turned out to be a whispered thought, contemplative, quiet, and just a bit wistful.

Maybe it was the insomnia talking, but suddenly, Kaiba didn't care. His analyzing had produced an answer, and while a small corner of his mind protested this new development, most of him was just relieved that he could finally let it rest.

...Right?

He was still awake, lying there in the darkness, listening to his own heart beating as he wondered...wondered what Moto was doing right now.

_Probably asleep, like I should be._

But even his sarcasm was letting out now, as emotional exhaustion took over.

The choices were clear, it was almost as though he was standing in a darkened space with a door in front of him. A small ray of light shimmered behind the keyhole, luring him in. His choice then... Reach out, and open that door, or remain stubbornly locked in the darkness.

How was anyone supposed to choose, and retain his sanity? He hated the darkness, it caused his only pain and confusion. But that door, while tempting, held a greater fear...a fear that what he would find would break him.

Whether it was due to insomnia, confusion, stress, or just plain arbitrary human instinct, Kaiba was suddenly subject to a weakness he thought he'd outgrown at the age of ten.

Seto wished he could cry.

* * *

_Gaah! That was so unbelievably horrible. _I _wish I could say I didn't write that...but unfortunately, that would be a lie. I guess my only shot at redemption would be to revise the next chapters very carefully, and make sure they're better._

_Sumimasen! Hope you didn't hate chapter too badly. _

Next chapter, moving onto the AU part of the fic: we're taking a trip to **Chicago**!


End file.
